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Dear Microtards,
Thank you for inviting me to speak here. Let’s skip the small talk and get straight to the business. I’m here to deliver some medicine that you’re not going to want to take. But you need to hear it. So here goes. I’m cool, and you are not. I’m smart, and you are dumb. I have good taste, and you do not. I am good, and you are evil. I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people’s lives; you give them Zunes and Vista.